I Learned the Power of Forgiveness—Starting With Me

In therapy:

I learned the power of forgiveness—not just forgiving others, but forgiving me.

In life, we make decisions that we sometimes replay over and over, beating ourselves up for them. What we don’t always realize is that many of our choices came from a place of pain. They were emotional, not logical. And then we sit in regret—sometimes even in shame—letting those moments stall our growth and stop our progression.

At some point, I had to acknowledge that the hurt I caused myself was more damaging than what others had done to me.

We don’t always understand how trauma alters the brain. We know better, but somehow we still accept less, because dysfunction feels familiar. We say we want better, but deep down, we don’t believe we deserve it. The list goes on.

But instead of sitting in regret, I started focusing on how to move forward.

As a woman who grew up in church, I was told to forgive—but never taught how. I was never taught how to forgive me. Why is it that we’re taught to forgive others first, but not ourselves?

True healing starts with self-forgiveness. That’s how we set the tone. That’s how we break free from the internal torment of our past decisions. The bitterness, the negative thoughts, the emotional heaviness, the constant replaying of old wounds, the fear of change, the self-doubt—all of that is rooted in unforgiveness toward self.

When I finally forgave me, I felt peace. I felt like I could truly begin the process of loving myself, holding myself accountable, and realizing that forgiveness—even of others—is really for me.

Forgiving myself opened my eyes to who I was designed to be—before trauma tried to reroute my life. Now, I’m more confident, more outgoing, more daring, and I’m evolving into a better version of myself.

-Chantelle aka Telle