Accountability!!!

On my journey, accountability has been a major focal point. I’m willing to say the things most people aren’t willing to say.

Throughout this process, I’ve had some really good friends—and some fake ones. The good ones are still here. Some for over 20 years, some over 5, and even a few who’ve shown real solidarity in just 1 year. But there were also people I wanted to hold on to that I had to let go of.

And truthfully, there were times I wasn’t the best friend either. I talked about one friend to another. I was often the common denominator behind the tension in the group. And while those friends didn’t play about me, I had to face the reality that maybe they were fake to each other because I was fake too.

Some of my friends might say, “Nah, you didn’t do anything,” but I know—the way I handled things wasn’t always friendly.

I had to learn that in order to have a friend, I needed to be a friend. And that meant I had to stop forming friendships with people I knew from the start weren’t genuine. In my 40s, I can’t move like I used to. I can’t overlook what should be addressed or vent to others about things I never confronted.

I haven’t always been the best for everyone. And there are times I’ve had to apologize for my behavior. I’m only sharing this because too many people only tell the good parts of their story—but it’s both the good and the bad that shape who you are becoming.

-Chantelle aka Telle