The Narcissist in Our Lives!!

I Never Heard the Word “Narcissist” Until 2020…

I don’t know what happened, but it’s like the pandemic gave us a name for the people who had been ego-driven in our lives all along.

My first narcissist? My own mother. Yes—my mom. A woman who always let us know she would put herself before us. And no, I’m not talking about “self-care” when she said it. At all.

I never understood why she didn’t want anyone telling my sister and me that we were pretty… why she didn’t want us playing sports or doing anything. It was the fear of the attention shifting off her and onto us. Narcissists? Yeah, they don’t play that.

Then came the relationships. Whew. Every guy had the same behavior patterns. Different faces, but the same characteristics. Like, seriously—none of them could say they were better than the other. Even the ones I pillow talked with. THEY. WERE. ALL. THE. SAME. (Especially that last one… Lord, help me.)

The attention always had to be on them. SMH.

But it didn’t stop there. I saw the same traits show up in friendships too. And you know what? I’m a firm believer that we attract who we are. So if I kept attracting these kinds of dudes… did that mean I had some of those traits too?

Here’s the truth: A narcissist only changes when they acknowledge that something is wrong with them. And let me tell you—good luck getting them to admit that! Unless they see the issue, want help, and do the work, you’re just entertaining a full-blown demon.

My therapist once told me, “Chantelle, God don’t want you entertaining no demon—so why would you keep entertaining that man?”

I packed up my heart, my peace, and my standards… and I left.

And guess what? I never went back.

-Chantelle aka Telle