Resentment: A Lesson in Accountability

In therapy: 

I’ve learned that resentment isn’t always about what someone did to you. Sometimes, it’s rooted in being upset with yourself for allowing it to happen.

Resentment is defined as bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly. Many of us have experienced unfair treatment—whether as children by those who were supposed to love us, or as adults by people we allowed to take up space in our lives.

I had to shift my perspective on resentment, especially when reflecting on situations I’ve experienced. The truth is, some people treated me unfairly because I allowed them to. I didn’t walk away when I should have. I didn’t express how I felt when something hurt me. I overlooked disrespect because I was bound by the stronghold of people-pleasing.

When I got serious about my healing journey, I realized I had to hold myself accountable. Not for what others did—but for allowing them to remain in my space without setting healthy boundaries.

Sometimes, resentment isn’t about the person who wronged you. It’s about you—your choices, your silence, your lack of boundaries.

Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Move on. Lesson learned.

-Chantelle aka Telle