Overcoming Self-Sabotage: Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be

Self-sabotage is a significant issue—one that often goes unnoticed. It wasn’t until I came across the actual definition and began to understand the terminology that I realized I had been engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors for years. I had no idea how much I was getting in my own way or how often I was creating obstacles that blocked my personal growth.

Doubt, insecurities, and fear held me back from going after many things I believed I was capable of. But where did that come from?

As a young girl, I was never told I was good at anything. My mother thought it was unwise to praise her children. I don’t know if she believed that giving us compliments would inflate our egos or if it was simply her way of trying to keep us humble. Whatever the reason, it planted something in me that followed me into adulthood—a quiet fear that whispered I wasn’t good enough, even when I was more than capable.

And so, I sabotaged myself.

I didn’t take the opportunities.

I didn’t believe in my own potential.

I didn’t pursue what was already inside of me.

\That’s why it’s so important to be mindful of the words we speak over others. Our words can either empower someone or break them down. The words spoken to me as a child shaped who I became in my 20s and 30s. It took me until I turned 40 to truly recognize that I was not who they said I was—I am who God created me to be.

A woman of endurance, wisdom, and courage, just to name a few.

I no longer need to hinder myself with insecurities. I don’t have to live under the shadow of words that once made me feel small. They no longer have power over me.

Many of us engage in self-sabotage without even knowing it. We know deep down that we have something valuable to offer this world. We sense our own potential. Yet, we start doubting ourselves. We question our journey. We replay old narratives in our heads, and little by little, we begin to shrink.

But imagine this…

What if we stepped aside and allowed ourselves to flourish?

What if we truly believed in ourselves and stopped getting in our own way?

What if we trusted the process—acknowledging that challenges will come, but believing that we are equipped to overcome them?

What if we dismantled self-sabotage and instead focused on self-empowerment, self-discipline, self-improvement, and self-care?

Wouldn’t we become the best versions of ourselves?

The truth is: we don’t have to wait until we’ve hit rock bottom to wake up to our worth. We don’t need the approval of others to validate what God has already placed inside of us. The journey to becoming him or her—the man or woman you were always meant to be—starts with believing that you are worthy, capable, and destined for greatness.

It starts with letting go of the words that held you back and embracing the truth that will set you free.

You are not what they called you.

You are who He called you.

-Chantelle aka Telle